‘don’t be jealous, be inspired.’

 

Seeing other people achieve goals similar to yours can trigger two emotions: jealousy or inspiration and sometimes both.

 

Whenever anyone my age achieved the goals I haven’t completed I always reacted negatively. Either I got jealous or I put myself down for not being as ‘smart, talented, or any other likable quality’. 

 

I suppose I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. 

This quote shifted my perspective. I looked at others’ achievements from a different angle. What if their success is confirmation that it is possible for me, what if they prove that I can achieve it? 

 

I don’t know how much work they put in to achieve it, or what obstacles they faced but I know that if they did it, it’s possible for me too. 

 

My speed might be different than theirs depending on factors like privilege, knowledge, resources, etc., but it’s not undoable. 

 

 

 

 

‘be the woman you needed when you were younger.’

 

Most of our beliefs, mindsets, and self-perception stem from our childhood. Children learn a lot of information in their childhood years which is now normal for us.

 

For example, how we behave, how we talk, how we think relationships should be, how to view the world and ourselves, etc.

 

As a child, we had certain needs which sometimes were neglected growing up. This heavily influences our life now in relationships, decision-making, and other areas of life.

 

For me, that was emotional support. I never learned how to deal with my emotions since they were rarely ever acknowledged. This obviously led to issues that would come up in relationships sooner or later and would become dependent on the other person’s support. 

 

Generally, becoming dependent on other people to fulfill your needs leads to unhealthy dependency and unhealthy and toxic relationships. I’m not saying to not search for a relationship that fulfills your needs on the contrary I encourage that but be able to be that person for yourself so you’re not dependent on the other person.

 

 

 

 

‘focus on the step in front of you, not the whole staircase.’

 

Long-term goals can seem overwhelming when you’re looking at the end result and the path leading there. That’s why I love reminding myself of this quote. To focus on the next step, to focus on the one thing I can do today to get there which seems doable. After consistently taking the small steps in front of you, you’ll turn around one day and see how far you’ve come. 

 

Breaking down your goals into small steps helps to concentrate on the daily progress rather than the end goal.

 

 

 

 

‘the only person you’ll always have is yourself.’

 

Realizing this changed everything for me. I started doing things for myself rather than other people and started building a good relationship with myself. I put my well-being and health first.

 

Because the truth is: if there is one person that has been through everything with you, that person is yourself. 

 

You have always been there for you, and you have picked yourself up when you fell down. So why not value yourself more? 

 

Most people are not going to be in your life forever, so why are you losing yourself to please them? 

 

These are questions I needed to ask myself. I learned I cannot build healthy lasting relationships if the relationship with myself is not healthy. You cannot ‘pour from an empty cup’ which means you can’t give much love to other people if you don’t have much love for yourself and constantly giving to others is exhausting and draining.

 

There is this other great quote I heard: ‘People will treat you how you treat yourself.’

 

If you have clear boundaries and act on them, people will respect you more. You give them a direct indication of how much you value yourself and how much they can cross your boundaries based on that.