I’ve been on this ‘self-improvement’ journey for approximately three years now. It wasn’t easy and I haven’t reached the end because it’s a journey, not a destination. 

 

Over these years I’ve realized I made some mistakes. Some of them more recently and some of them a while back. I will share them with you so you’ll know what to watch out for.

 

For some of you, one or all of these points might look stupid or seem completely logical and that’s awesome for you but to me, they weren’t so obvious. We all make mistakes and here are mine.

 

 

 

Not questioning self-improvement “gurus”, creators and books enough

 

The more I took a deep dive into the whole self-improvement/self-growth space the more I realized how broad it actually is and how much content and content creators are out there.

 

It is actually also a business with quite a lot of money behind it. 

 

There are people out there that made their passion for self-improvement their career and there’s nothing shameful about it, on the contrary, it’s great that they try to help others for a living. 

 

However, there are individuals in this industry who don’t have your best interest at heart. I learned that even though it seems great it has a flip side and I had to do some reflecting on my part. Even if I didn’t make money from this hobby of mine I had to question if what I was saying was a repetition of other’s words or my own experience. 

 

I and many other creators are not scientists and haven’t done extensive research. What we do is speak from experience or reference other concepts but be careful before you hold it as truth even if you highly trust that creator. 

 

Everyone can make mistakes or be wrong sometimes and not everyone is concerned for your benefit so please make sure to use your own judgment enough and don’t assume that everything you read is a fact.

 

 

 

Only watching self-improvement content and counting it as improvement 

 

There was a time when I was consuming a lot of self-growth content and I caught myself counting the time spent watching content as improvement even though another piece of the puzzle was missing: action.

 

I would argue consuming content and gathering information on the topic is the easiest part. Hearing about discipline, habits and all these other things is great because it can leave you with a sense of accomplishment and does not require much effort.

 

The hardest part is taking action. Getting up early, implementing habits, journaling, and discipline are very simple in theory but are really hard to actually do. 

 

My suggestion is: limit your consumption of all the content that is out there (which mostly has the same few concepts behind it just worded differently), stick to one thing, and put it into practice and after you see some progress focus on another thing.

 

In a world where we have access to and see so much on the internet on a daily basis all this information can get overwhelming. That’s why focusing on one thing at a time is important.

 

 

 

Blindly copying someone else’s routines, habits and methods

 

What’s working for one person might not work for another. Just because someone’s study routine does not work for you doesn’t mean you’re dumb, lazy or not capable, it just means that their routine isn’t for you.

 

Getting inspiration and guidance from others is a wonderful thing and can be actually really beneficial but it’s necessary to reflect if it’s working for you or how it can work better for you.

 

I realized that listening to me and my individual feelings and needs helped a lot in optimizing my habits and routines that initially were inspired by someone else.

 

Finding the right path for you is and always will be a series of trial and error but that’s not a bad thing it opens the way for growth.

 

 

 

Instant Gratification

 

At the beginning of my journey, I wanted everything right now, a better body, a healthy lifestyle, happiness and if I didn’t get it I would think, “What’s the point?

 

Fast forward three years I am in a much better position where I enjoy life more and feel more in control of my life and the course of it. 

 

Why? Well, there of course many reasons but the reason I want to talk about now is:

 

Delayed Gratification. The concept is giving up what you want now for a greater reward in the future.

 

Giving up one more episode of your favorite show for studying to get a better grade is one example of delayed gratification. 

 

The truth is everything worthwhile has a lot of effort put into it. One reason is that you ‘struggled’ for it and now you appreciate it more. 

 

Of course, as with everything there should be a balance and constantly delaying gratification, I think, is not that beneficial for overall well-being.

 

 

 

Not becoming the person I needed to be in order to live my dream life

 

To be clear this has nothing to do with stereotypes or social boxes this has to do with me as a person. Your dream life isn’t necessarily just having money, a relationship, or achieving other goals it’s who you become and how you look at life.

 

The person I was when I started or even when I was I child has changed but at the very core is still me but a more evolved version of myself.

 

The girl back then would not do very well with the life I am now living because she was depressed, had not healed, had a very negative self-image, had self-worth issues, and had social anxiety that was much worse,… 

 

The list goes on but you probably get my point. I wasn’t healed and therefore wasn’t ready. Healing all the issues I had and still have can be hard and confusing but it’s such an important part of happiness. Not because you will be happy all the time but because you learn how to heal and deal with difficulties in life and as a consequence know how to overcome them.